a hero unworthy of murder
by reindeerguardian
Summary: when Ooo's greatest hero is murdered it's up to jake to solve the mysery but can he? his life is complicated enough with rainicorns death... ch 4 is up, and our hero is gone.
1. a light goes out

A hero unworthy of murder

Finn and Jake were chilaxing at their tree fort, playing beemo, when the phone rang. Finn answered

"Hello?" he asked. He paused for a moment and handed the phone to Jake. Jake listened intently, suddenly his face twisted into an unreadable look. "Gotta go dude!" he cried. "Emergency!" he leapt outside leaving Finn to wonder and worry.

The next few moments were a blur for Jake. He slide into the emergency room calling out that he was there for lady rainicorn and they let him in. the nurse was hesitant but the doctor had told her "let him in. it can't help now." Jake took in his words fearing the worst.

"Lady?" he said softly, opening the door. She lay in the hospital bed, her long body trailing down the side, and into a soft pile on the floor. When she saw him her eyes lit up she smiled softly creating a sad atmosphere. He walked over putting a hand on hers. In one arm she held a bundle. In that bundle was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.

His daughter. _Their_ daughter. She was a dog. She looked like Jake. No similarity to her mother at all. He smiled at rainicorn, that special smile he'd reserved just for her.

"What's her name?" he asked she smiled sweetly.

"Jacklene." They gazed at each other for a long time. Silence.

"Jake?'

"Yes?'

"There's something else."

Tears sprang up in his eyes, she was already crying. "I know …" he said trying to be strong for her. For him, for jacklene, for the family they were. But then she smiled.

"Jake, I'm not going to make it..." he whimpered.

"But don't let that stop you from doing anything. From talking about me to her and all our friends. From laughing at the things we used to do a- and…. Maybe even from falling in love again…" he shook his head.

"How could I ever love again knowing my first is gone forever?" she frowned

"Not forever my love, goodbyes are never forever, remember that. I will be in your heart." He moaned.

"Don't go all mushy on me baby, please." He pressed his forehead to hers, avoiding her horn, and they stayed like that for what could've been eons, eternities stretching on until he felt her breathe her last breath, and his rainbow, his love, his everything, went out , like a light.

**Yep. I know I said that this is a murder story, which it is, but we'll get to that later on **


	2. a suggestive party

"…and then the dragon was all like 'ahhh! U killed me!' and Finn was all 'duh man I know I did it with my own sword!'" Jake said, telling stories to jacklene who listened with rapt attention. It was a cool autumn night, five months since lady Rainicorn's death. "And then what happened?" she cried

" then he died and the townspeople were safe once more, thanks to—" at this point Finn ran into the room and cried out, " thanks to Finn the human, the most dashing and bravest of all the adventurers in the land of Ooo!" he gave Jake a triumphant look as he flopped down on Jacklene's bed.

"Hey man, no flopping it's bedtime for young pups in this joint."

"Awwwww…" both Finn and Jacklene moaned. Jake kissed her forehead, and the two left the room closing the door behind them. "So Jake, are we goin to princess bubblegum's birthday ball tonight?" Jake sighed and looked back at his daughter's room. "I dunno man; I just put her to bed and besides, Pb's turning 21…" "So?" Finn asked.

"So what do people do when there 21 Finn?" the human boy stared at him.

"They drink!" he said.

"Oh. So what? Jacklene knows that alcohol is bad she'll stay away from the bar."

"I still don't want her near the stuff Finn." Finn groaned annoyed "why don't we get a baby-sitter?"

"Finn everyone in Ooo is goin to that party! What person would actually stay at our house all night with a little girl?"

"What about Beemo?"

"I dunno…"

"C'mon Jake, please? I really wanna go to that party and nothing will be the same without my bro by my side."

"The whole time? Even while you'll be trying to woo the princess?" he grinned.

"C'mon Jake get serious. Please? Can't we just leave her with BEEMO?"

"Fiiiiiiine….. But we can't be gone too long…"

"Yes!" Finn yelled then Jake shushed him. "Right, sorry." And they went to go get ready for the princesses birthday ball.

One hour later…

"You sure she'll be okay Finn?" Jake asked glancing back at their tree fort worriedly.

"Yeah homie, she'll be good." He said soothingly, placing an arm around Jake's shoulder. By the time they got to the candy kingdom the party was in full swing. Jake watched as his bro ran off looking for the princess. Jake sighed and went to take a walk through the castle garden. It reminded him of lady; they used to take walks through the garden all the time. Then he came to it; her grave. But that's not what surprised him. There was already a figure paying respects. She floated down, and saw Jake watching her.

Marceline blushed. "Hey Jake."

Meanwhile….

Hey princess!" Finn yelped running up to her, she'd managed to lose half the clothes she'd been wearing.

"Heeeey Finn, how's it goin cutie?" she giggled and winked at him in a Marceline-like manor.

"Good." He replied taking her in. dear, god she was drunker than a fish in a bowl of tequila.

"C'mon I wanna –hic- shows ya somethin' "and he followed her through the hazard marked doors of her science lab.

"What're we gonna do in here?" he asked looking around, nothing out of the ordinary. She cleared off the nearby table.

"Everything." She said in seductive voice

" oh my grod…"


	3. how to avoid being emotionally scarred

"Hey Marceline." Jake smiled as she floated over awkwardly. She'd been paying her respects to lady Rainicorn's grave before she went to the party.

"So…" he said awkwardly not thinking of anything to say.

"So…" she replied with a smile. And then, without warning she suddenly crumbled to the floor and sobbed. Jake only stared wide eyed as he had no idea what to do. He sat down beside her and rubbed her back, pulling her close. But she only cried. She cried and cried until Jake was sure they'd drown if she shed another tear. Then she stopped and blushed. "Sorry." She murmured. Unsure where to look. He only grinned sympathetically. "Don't be. I cried like that all the time when she first passed." The vampire stared at him "how'd you get over it?" he looked over at the tombstone for a long moment before answering. "I didn't. I never will be fully, but I figured I better suck it up and be brave for Jacklene. She'd have wanted me to be happy." They sat there in silence for a while.

"Do you hear anything?" Marceline asked.

"No why?"

"Wasn't there like, a huge bombastic party goin on? Why's it so quiet?" she inquired. They looked at one another in an alarmed panic and ran back into the castle. Jake was absolutely surprised beyond reaction at the scene before them.

Meanwhile…

Finn tore out of the science lab doors as fast as his human legs could carry him, the drunken princess following behind. "Fiiiiiin!" she cried " fiiii-iin! Get back here lover boy!" Finn ran until she was far behind, but bubblegum was catching up quick. Finn thought fast and glanced around. He spotted a very happy looking Fionna dancing with Marshall Lee. He pulled Fionna out of the dance, swung her around and, much to Marshall Lee's horror, began kissing her passionately.

When Finn finally pulled away, everything had stopped. The music, the laughter, there was no noise at all, aside from bubblegum's sobbing. Finn saw Jake and Marceline gawking at him. Marshall Lee was giving him a death stare as he pulled Fionna close. He felt horrible and all mixed up inside. Then came the princess quivering voice.

"Finn the human, you are herby banned from the candy kingdom until further notice." He voice barely above a whisper as tears rolled down her cheeks. The guards pulled him out of the castle as Jake met him at the moat.

"Hey man, what happened back there?" he asked concerned. Finn turned his head away. "I don't wanna talk about it." They continued on in silence until Jake announced: "Finn, I think I'm in love." Finn stared at him with wide eyes "what?" then he went from being depressed, to being energetic with joy for his bro. he hugged him tight "aw man that's awesome! I'm … I'm happy for you!" Jake didn't say anything. "I didn't tell you who she was yet Finn." He said quietly.

Five miles away Fionna was walking home, feeling mixed up inside, when a figure floated above her. She smiled. Only a vampire can do that. "Marshall Lee are you stalking me?" she giggled. "Sorry to disappoint you but it's me." Marceline smirked at the blushing blonde.

"Oh. What do you need Marceline?" the vampire queen didn't look so cocky anymore. She looked down at her shoes. "I want you to give me a makeover." Fionna looked surprised. "From me? "She asked. "Why?"

Marceline smiled a small smile. "Well… there's this guy…." She started nonchalantly. Fionna gasped. "Who is he? "She cried ecstatically.

"I'm not telling you!"

"but I need to know who he is so I can make you to fit his style!" her gaze softened." C'mon Marci, you can tell me, I'm your friend." Marceline only floated in silence for a long time before saying anything.

"It's Jake."

_Uh oh, Finn's in trouble now, isn't he? Haha and Jake's in luurv! With Marci? Wtf? Haha I love my crazy twisted imagination._


	4. the deed is done

Finn was bummed out. Being banished from the candy kingdom sucked gumballs. Suddenly the phone rang. Finn jumped up, was bubblegum calling to apologize? He grabbed the phone and almost screeched "hello?"

"Hey weenie." Oh. It was just Marceline. "Nice performance last night, wasn't expecting theatre." He cursed her silently. "I'm kidding, sorry…um," she sounded hesitant. "Is Jake there?"

"Where else would he be?"

"Can I talk to him?"

"Um…" Jake was giving jacklene her bath. "He's busy right now, but I can take a message."

"Cool. Tell him to meet me at crypt cave tonight, ten o clock sharp." And she hung up.

"Bye..." he murmured sitting back down to wallow in self pity.

_A few hours later….._

"Finn I gotta go, I'll see you later buddy, take care of jacklene!" he called. Finn scoffed. She'd fallen asleep hours ago. " yeah, man I'll see ya' have fun.'" And he left. Finn sighed and went about picking stuff up. There was a knock at the door. He opened it.

"h-hey Fionna…"

"Hey Finn." He couldn't look her in the eye. He felt lousy. Some righteous hero he was, ruining relationships for his own safety. But she only smiled, eyes trailing him up and down in amusement.

"Finn, why are you wearing a maid's outfit?" she giggled. He looked down at the attire. He'd forgotten he was wearing it.

"W-well ya see, um…Jake and I made a bet that the princess would never make the first move…" he said awkwardly. "And as of last night, I lost. So now I hafta wear this for a week." He growled, wishing he'd never made the bet in the first place. It was too much for her to take apparently; she burst out in laughter, turning away from him

"HAHAHAHAH I-I'm HAHA s-sorry HAHAHA…HAHA...Heh..." but when she turned around to face him, he had a look of stricken horror on his face.

"Finn? I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you…" but he fell to the ground.

_Meanwhile…._

Jake sat on a stalactite in crypt cave, whistling a tune, as he waited for the vampire queen.

"Jake?" she called? He stood up and waved to her.

"Over here." She floated over, and at first, Jake didn't recognize her. She was…..well, she didn't look a vampire queen, that's for sure. He only stood open mouthed as she grinned.

"Too much?" he only shook his head absently; taking her in. she sat cross legged beside him.

"Sooo..." he asked, wondering as to why she'd called him here.

"So… you play viola right?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you wanna have a jam session? Just the two of us?" Jake nearly fainted at her last five words. They were _never_ alone together. It made his heart beat faster.

They were at her house now, as she plugged in her axe base. She went over to the stereo and began searching, apparently not finding her desired object.

"Jake, will you go get me a pick out of my room?" he went upstairs and shivered, glancing at the closet, remembering when he and Finn had gotten trapped in there all day once. He looked around the room and grabbed her pick.

_Meanwhile….again_

Fionna gasped as Finn lay on the ground

"Finn? Are you okay?" she cried. She turned him over and gasped. A knife point stuck out of his chest. He laid on the ground, stony-eyed a steady dark pool growing around him. Blood somehow managed to stain the purity of his white hat.

"Oh….." she moaned what she should do? Help! That's it go get help!

"Jake will know what to do!" she cried, grabbing Finn's red stained hat off his head, letting his blonde locks fall to the floor.

Just as the two were about to engage in a musical feast, Fionna burst through the doors, panting and sputtering something uncomprehendable.

"Whoa! Whoa! What's going on?" Jake asked.

"I-it's Finn…" she managed to blurt out. "He's…" she couldn't speak.

"He's what?" Marceline asked.

"He's dead!" she yelled showing them Finn's blood spattered hat.

**Oh sob. Oh cry. Finn is dead! The deed is done, now our story begins.**


	5. elementary my dear Watson

Princess bubblegum looked up from her morning paper, shocked at what she thought she'd heard from her butler.

"What?" she asked staring up at him in bewilderment. Peppermint butler looked up at her with sympathetic eyes.

"Finn the human boy has been murdered, your majesty." He said lowering his head. The princess stared at the table. She couldn't process it. Her head was already roaring with her princessly duties. Now she was finding out that her best knight, the boy she'd tried to-to…god she couldn't believe she'd done that. But he was dead. She suppressed her sobs and told her butler to ready the morrow.

_At the tree fort… _

Jake had called all their friends to a private funeral. Tears stood in his eyes, threatening to spill. But he didn't dare. He had to be strong for Jacklene. Marceline played the piano. A mournful tune, everything was just so…depressing. He couldn't take this. Finn wouldn't have wanted such sadness.

The princess was taking this especially hard. She felt the whole thing was her fault. She cried so much. Everyone tried to console her, but all the sympathy in the world couldn't make up for what she'd done. She felt like a murderer. And now here she sat, in a large chair, black lacy dress billowed around her, tears trailing down her face.

_After the funeral…8:26 pm_

"Daddy?" Jake turned to see his daughter, sitting up expectantly in her bed. He smiled halfheartedly.

"Yes honey?" she gave him great big puppy dog eyes.

"Will you sing me a lullaby?" Jake paused, ear twitched slightly. He went out into the living room, picked up his mother's music box from a shelf up high, and returned to her room. He turned the handle slowly and the small dogs moved their arms, playing the first few notes to the songs.

"_Don't be weepy sleep puppies_

_Slip your slippers on your footies_

_In the morning you'll get goodies_

_Puppy hats and puppy hoodies_

_No stripes or polka dots,_

_Heather gray and feather soft_

_Baby pink or baby blue_

_All the draw strings you can chew." _ He finished the song, absentmindedly reminded of Me-Mow and Wildberry Princess. She looked at him, eyes half closed.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?'

"Is uncle, Uncle Finn," she yawned in midsentence, "is he with glob now?" Jake nodded, looking at the floor.

"And is he with mommy?" Jake nodded slowly, pulling the covers up to her chin.

"That's enough chit chat little puppy." He kissed her forehead. "Now go to sleep." She yawned.

"g'night dad. I'll see in ya in the morning."

"g'night kiddo." He said, closing the door behind him. He secured the doors around the house. Murder leaves one in a tense, panicked state. He wouldn't stand for this. He wasn't gonna let some low-life come into his home and kill his family. He needed to find the murderer. And he needed to do it right away. He found an old detective's hat in the basement. He fished around for a pipe (it blew bubbles.) suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Peppermint butler?" the candy man stood outside, shuffling about nervously.

"I hear your looking for a murderer?"

"Wow. Word sure gets around." The butler held up a magnifying glass.

"Are you ready to go on a mystery, Sherlock Holmes?" Jake grinned.

"Only if you are Watson."

**Yay! Another chapter. Next chapter, we search out suspects.**


	6. vampire kiss

Jake trudged through the woods to seek out his first suspect, while peppermint butler trailing behind.

"So who are we interrogating first?" the striped Watson asked, picking his way among a patch of venomous lilies.

"Marshall Lee." Jake murmured as they stretched over a small stream. Peppermint butler stopped where he stood.

"A vampire?"

"Yeah," Jake said. "They're actually not that scary, once you get to know 'em."

"Oh, uh, I know…but um, why this particular vampire?"

"Because Finn stole Fionna away and kissed her in front of everyone the other night, remember? He could've murdered Finn for ruining his chances with the girl he likes." The dog said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Duh."

"Perhaps I should return to the castle, the princess being so distraught as of late..." Jake looked at the butler.

"What do you have against Marshall Lee?" he asked suspiciously.

Me? Oh, um, nothing… we just er, know each other…" he stated hesitantly. Nevertheless, the two continued out to Marceline's house, where her male counterpart could usually be found.

_At Marceline's house…_

Marceline opened the door to her house, and Jake tipped his hat to her, taking the bubble pipe out of his mouth.

"Hey Jake. Watsup?"

"Good morrow m'lady. Is Marshall Lee here?" she nodded and jerked a thumb over her shoulder.

"Yeah he's in the kitchen sucking the red out of my cabinets." She rolled her eyes annoyed. "Sometimes his being like me gets boring." She motioned for them to enter. They found their suspect in the kitchen, sticking his fangs into the cabinet door.

"Peppermint butler, turn down the lights." Jake murmured to his companion, but the striped man was hiding in the doorway. Marceline did as he asked. Jake pulled out an old flashlight and shone it the vampire's face.

"Hey man, what's goin' on?" the vampire asked, shielding his light sensitive eyes from the blinding white of the flashlight.

"we're all gonna' have a friendly little chat."

_15 minutes later…_

"Admit it!" Jake cried, "You were jealous of Finn stealing your lady!" Marshall twitched in annoyance. They'd gotten nowhere with the vampire, as he admitted to nothing.

"I don't get jealous." He boasted. Marceline raised her eyebrows with an idea.

"You don't get jealous, huh?" she grinned a fanged smile his way. "Well let's see when I do _this_." She leaned forward, and much to Jake's surprise, kissed him.

Jake didn't know what to do. He only stood there, as the vampire lady kissed him, seconds ticked by. She finally pulled away from him, and peppermint butler made a strange noise in his throat, almost like a giggle.

"Well then, that's interesting. Haven't seen much beastiality since I've returned from the underworld."

"Beasti- what?" the dog asked.

Marceline laughed. Jake was still confused. What just happened?

"a-anyways…" he stuttered, turning his attention to Marshall, who didn't look at all phased from the events, much to Marceline's dismay. But the vampire only eyed them coolly, and sighed.

"Ok, so maybe I was upset about the whole thing the other night, but I guess he only did it 'self-defense'." He looked actually, a little sad. "I liked Finn. He was a good kid, he didn't deserve death." Jake sighed.

"Whatever, man." He figured Marshall Lee meant no harm. "C'mon Peppermint Butler." Marshall's head snapped up to stare.

"Peppers? You been here the whole time?" peppermint butler waved shyly.

"h-hey Marshall, how's it goin?" The two engaged in a friendly conversation, leaving Jake awkwardly with Marceline. She laughed at him.

"Don't think too much of that kiss. I only did that to make my double jealous."

_Pffft. Yeah right. Ladies can't resist this sexy dog._ He considered telling her this, but decided he'd like to live. Peppermint Butler cleared his throat.

"Jake, I believe we have some mystery solving to do." Jake glanced back at the vampires, said his goodbyes and they left the house, heading on to their next suspect.

The yellow Sherlock shivered. Vampires always left him feeling strange.

** Yay! Chapter six! (although it was really lame…) More to come, who will our next suspect be? We'll find out in chapter seven!**


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